My dark days are well and truly over! I have come so far this past year. This time last year my day was a huge struggle to get through! I was battling the worst panic/anxiety attacks DAILY even a couple of times a day! It started to swallow me and turn me into this sad, depressed human being that felt like curling in a ball and giving up. After August last year I hit rock bottom and just lost it one day so my mum (my rock) took me off to the doctor, I was feeling hopeless and could not control these panic attacks.
Two days before I had a panic attack in front of my Friday pump class, I actually had to stop the class and walk out! I couldn’t breathe, I thought I was dying of a heart attack and everyone was around me thinking this was abnormal when in fact this had become part of my day for the last 3 years, it was ‘NORMAL’ for me lol……. I had just been lucky enough to never of had one in front of people I didn’t know!!! So I gave in and took advice from doctor to get on medication (I didn’t want to) BUT I’m so glad I did because it changed MY LIFE!! I’m now feeling I’m BACK…to my old self!!! My happy, bubbly self that loves life!!! I honestly get excited to get out of bed and face the day in the morning! And have moments when I almost want to pinch myself to see if I’m awake and not dreaming!!! I don’t care if this post comes off seeming corny and fluffy because the first time in my life I love myself and I’m being TRUE to myself and to others!!
I really do have the best clients I could wish for they are such great people and make my job such a pleasure!!!!! I get so excited to train at the moment. I feeling stronger, fitter and am getting the results I want!!! It’s taken a few years but I’m starting to notice change in my body. The change I have been waiting for, it is starting to appear!!! I have been working on this body solidly for the last 8 years!!!!!!
I’m 2 days away from stepping up to the IFBB Fitx show in MELBOURNE!!! I’m so excited to get out there and have some fun because last time I was on stage I was suffering BIG TIME!!! Had panic attacks and had to try hard to keep it together!!! So I can say I gave it everything this preparation I didn’t MISS 1 WORKOUT, NOT 1 MEAL…..I gave 110% and to me I feel I have WON more than a trophy I have won back myself control ,MY LIFE!!!! My Happiness is one of the most important things to me and to have this back is AMAZING!!! So to all competing on the weekend ENJOY and congratulate yourself!!! No matter the place u come you have already won!!!!!!
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